When Wounds Don't Heal
by Ninjistics
Summary: Christened Scarecrow by his grade school tormentors, Jonathan Crane attempts to lose that nickname through College, but ends up becoming it instead.
1. Just Like Before

**When Wounds Don't Heal**

I'm hopeless when it comes to making up titles. This story was my attempt to get over a major writing block. Not sure if it was successful or not…

And I realize that this may be slightly (or greatly…) off the real batman past, but I'm changing it to match the little ideas popping up in my head like popcorn... or those jumping spiders. They amuse me... Coughs Anyways... I apologize if this barely matches his real past or if he's a bit off character...

**Update:** New and improved (hopefully)! Thanks to great reviews and me reading the entire thing (not without grimacing…), I've managed to make Crane a bit more in character.

* * *

The sun beat down onto the University campus, practically bringing the water in the fountain to a boil. Sweating students, their brains rendered useless as they lay victim to the summer heat, inhabited all spaces beneath the trees as they lay motionless beside one another. Every tree had at least 10 students crammed under it trying to seek refuge within its welcoming shade, which was unfortunately limited in size. But beneath one tree sat a lone student.

He was clothed in a thin collared shirt, its sleeves rolled up to give pale arms access to the humid air. His brown hair fell in wisps around his forehead, which was dotted with small beads of sweat that he repeatedly blinked out of his eyes. Unlike the other students who were all lying lifeless, eagle spread on the grass, this boy had his piercing blue eyes fixated upon a thick book in deep concentration.

This lone bookworm was none other than Jonathan Crane himself… or rather the awkward college student he had been many years ago before Batman, before Arkham, before insanity.

Jonathan Crane flipped the thin pages of his thick book steadily, his eyes darting to and fro behind his frameless glasses. He didn't seem to mind his lack of companions and instead seemed to be fixated on consuming the entire book as quick as possible. After all the years of boyhood torment and neglect, the young psychologist had grown accustomed to being alone.

Jonathan Crane finally sighed and closed his book shut. He looked around at the other students and immediately presumed he was the only moving creature within the grounds. He rose from his spot feeling eyes on his soon-to-be vacant spot against the large oak tree.

_Shouldn't make them wait any longer I suppose…_

Holding the thick textbook by his side, the tall boy walked out of the comfort of the shade and out into the sweltering heat. Walking towards the large double doors of the university, he heard a loud giggle and looked up to see a swarm of girls, clad in nothing but thin bikinis, clambering out of the doors laughing and gossiping amongst themselves. Heads rose from their spot against trees to glance over at the group of cheerful girls and some even conjured up the energy to sit up…. Mostly the males.

Crane sighed wearily. Typical. The group of yammering girls breezed past him and took his former spot. He was slightly amused to see that they were all armed with water guns and water balloons, which all remained to be used. This "group activity" was one he would sit out. Windows opened above him as the heads of students who had chosen to remain inside during the heat peaked their heads outside then vanished quickly. It wasn't long before practically everyone in the building poured out of the doors running right past him. The first water balloon was thrown and havoc commenced. He turned to go back into the building when a well-aimed balloon exploded in his face.

Crane sputtered dropping his book to the ground. He heard shrieks of laughter as he took off his glasses to wipe them off on his just as wet shirt. Superb. He placed them back on his head just in time to see a brown-haired girl donning a skimpy bikini top smirking at him.

_Elementary school all over again…_

Had this been a different situation, Jonathan would've rolled his eyes. Maybe next time they'll try to copy his homework or steal his lunch money.

Water once again exploded in his face as another packed balloon burst and water was shot into his face by a well-aimed gun.

Once he was capable of seeing again, Crane quickly stooped down and picked up his now soaked textbook then hurried inside before more water reached him. Once inside, he walked towards the stairs then paused to wipe his glasses. Replacing them back on his head, he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He remembered the words of his mother before he left home many months ago.

_"Don't worry… this is college. It's not going to be like elementary school or high school! Sure lots of kids from your other schools will be there but they wouldn't hold a grudge all the way into University…"_

He smiled slightly to himself. He, of course, hadn't trusted his mother's words. It was her job as his parent to give him false hope. After years of her false reassurances, Jonathan learned to be ready for the very worst. He had always known better than to take his mother's constant optimism seriously. They both knew that he was too smart to believe any of the things she ever said to him, but he respected her for trying.

Crane straightened his head and walked through the empty hall back to his room. While the dorms were graced with air conditioning, the heat was still quite unbearable inside. Closing his the door behind him, Jonathan tossed his ruined book onto his desk absently, which was quite unlike the reader. His window remained open allowing screeches of laughter to be heard up in his room reminding him of the fun he'd never be able to have...

--

Dried off and sporting fresh clothes, Crane looked over at the alarm clock beside his bed. It was still an hour before class started and with his book dripping wet, there wasn't much else to do. He walked over to his desk where he had previously dumped the ruined text and picked it up holding it by the cover. Water dripped from the pages while the wrinkled paper stuck together, slightly dried off and crinkly in his fingers.

A knock at the door interrupted the student's observation of his textbook. Crane set the book down gently then opened the door only to come face to face with none other than brownie herself.

"Oh… wait… sorry. Wrong room," she said, her short brown hair soaking wet and mascara running down her eyes.

She looked up and seemed to have just noticed exactly who it was who had answered the door. Her eyes lit up and a smirk crept onto her face.

"Hey… it's the infamous Jonathan Crane. I've heard of you from your old high school… buddies," she said holding her arm out across the doorway leaning the edge. "Yeah… you knowTyson? He told me aaaaall about y-"

Before she could say another word, Crane smiled sarcastically and interupted her before she could start explaning his peer's description of him. "Wow... I'd love to talk but I'm kind of busy. Good bye." Then slammed the door in her face with relish.

Pleased and satisfied, Jonathan allowed himself a quick smile. Maybe college didn't have to be the same after all.

* * *

Ok… so he's supposed to be shy and stuff, but since he's a big boy now, I decided to have him use his superior intelligence to his advantage and show that he can't be pushed around just as much. Of course if I had it my way, I'd have him destroy the entire college population then laugh madly atop the school rooftop, but that's a BIIIIT out of character even for my standards… 


	2. A Familiar Voice

I forgot this

Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or the wonderful Jonathan Crane… unfortunately

* * *

Rays of sunlight shone through the slightly closed blinds filling the small cramped dormitory with an orange glow. Jonathan raised his head and looked through the window at the rising sun blinking the light out of his eyes and removing his glasses to rub them. He guessed the time to be approximately 4:30 am noticing the pinkish glow illuminating the horizon.

It had been another sleepless night. He had always suffered from insomnia for some unknown reason, but never felt the least bit tired all day after a night of rolling in bed. Crane slowly rose from his bed and sat on the edge staring absently at the sunrise, wisps of his unkempt hair falling over his eyes.

All night long, the previous day's events had kept running through his head refusing to get out. He clenched his fists tightly without even noticing then quickly relaxed his hand closing his eyes. He was acting as if he were in elementary school again. Things like that had happened all his life including most of his school year during university so he should have gotten used to it by now. Yet the student still couldn't stop the all too familiar anger that always welled up in his gut roaring to break free.

Jonathan took another deep breath. The previous day, he had managed to remain calm even in the sneering face of the brunette, but as he remembered the events, what he should have felt suddenly erupted in his chest.

_If they could feel what I feel… if they knew how it felt…_

Crane smirked. He'd love, more than anything else, to see them squirm as he was forced to do all his life… He started to recall the feeling of satisfaction the previous day after slamming the door in that brat's face and watching as her expression changed from smug to shocked.

_Looks like they never expected "the Scarecrow" to fight back…_

Jonathan suddenly jerked up startled. His mind had been in a sort of daze allowing thoughts to go floating through his head… thoughts that he had tried, subconsciously, to hold back for quite a while. He quickly glanced over at the clock trying to prevent himself from going off into a stupor again. It was still about 3 hours until class started and still no sign of fatigue. But although he didn't feel the least bit sleepy, his head spun wildly, a headache pounding his temple threatening to crack his skull.

Closing his eyes trying to block everything out of his mind, Jonathan fell back onto his bed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd ever managed to get a good rest and the effects were starting to show. After what seemed like an eternity of the pounding in his brain, Crane finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

"_What are you staring at!"_

"_I-…"_

"_Get lost freak!"_

"_Sweetie! What happened to your face?"_

"_Nothing…"_

"_Scaaarecrow… scarecrow… Made of sticks and straaaaw…"_

"_Holy crap… How old are you kid! You're like… what… 7 feet tall?"_

"_Scarecrow…Scaaarecrow…"_

Jonathan bolted up panting heavily as the pounding in his head suddenly increased. He shut his eyes tightly trying to get the painful jibes from his past out of his head. Rather than feeling rested, he felt even dizzier than before, voices swimming throughout his mind. Then a much harsher voice, that sounded like his own rose above all the whispers in his head speaking directly to him…

_Cowards… all of them! But not us… No longer will we fear… They've taken enjoyment from your fear… now it's your turn…_

It was coming from deep within him… It was the thing that had been created out of all his pain… all his anger and hate… Now keeping it under wraps was becoming more and more difficult. Sitting on his bed leaning against a wall, Jonathan could do nothing but wait until the throbbing in his head subsided taking the whispered voices away with it. Finally, the pain was reduced and the sounds of his past vanished completely.

Opening his eyes, Crane glanced wearily at the clock beside the head of his bed. A green seven shone on the bright clock.

Clumsily emerging from his bed, Jonathan stumbled over to the bathroom where he doused himself with frigid cold water then got ready for another long day.

--

Warm spring winds blew through the morning air as Jonathan made his way across the grounds to the building where his next class was. His head still throbbing slightly, Crane steadied himself as the ground spun occasionally threatening to tip the tall boy right over. He jumped hearing a loud shriek ahead of him coming from two girls talking together, one of them holding a large spider in front of the other.

"OH GOD GET IT AWAY! Raelle… just… get it out of my face… I'm going to fucking faint!" said one backing away from the other as the hairy arachnid dangled in front of her face.

Crane felt something in his gut as he looked at the one holding the spider. The brown-haired girl from yesterday stood across from her freaking out friend waving the spider around laughing at the other girl's fear. Finally, the brunette tossed the bug at her causing her to dash off screaming madly as if her hair were set on fire. Crane watched everything, more than intrigued by the two girls, especially the one who had been sent running just because of one little spider…

The fleeing girl suddenly stumbled and flew foreword landing face first in the grass a few feet off. Raelle laughed good-heartedly then jogged after her.

"Hey you klutz! You're starting to act as clumsy as that "Scarecrow" guy," she said smirking, obviously aware of Jonathan's presence. "Now get your ass off the gr-…"

"My… my eye…"

Raelle's grinning face suddenly transformed into one of horror as she stared upon her friend slowly twitching on the ground, blood spreading along the blades of grass. She sat up slightly, her hand clutched over the right side of her face as a crimson liquid dripped out from between her trembling fingers running down her arm.

"Netty… NETTY! Oh my god… WHAT HAPPENED!"

But the brunette's concerned cry was cut off by loud sobs of pain coming from the blood-covered girl on the ground. Through her pale fingers, nothing could be seen where her eye was supposed to be except a large puddle of blood looking like something out of a horror movie. The space where her face had formally occupied was a pool of blood with one sharp, crimson rock protruding from the blades of grass. People all over hurried over attracted by her loud screeches echoing throughout the campus. Everyone surrounded her murmuring while others ran in through different doors to get help.

But Jonathan just stood in his spot watching as some of the crowd caught a glimpse then backed away shuddering. The tall boy seemed somewhat unfazed by the grotesque image before him, watching with great interest as though the bloody girl was a science experiment. Something about the scene seemed to draw him in, beckoning to him filling his mind with wonder and awe. Crane stood there, his blue eyes big as something in the back of his head whispered to him alluringly.

_This is what you were meant to create… this fear… this pain… Only you can truly understand it… and only you will be able to use it…_

Jonathan stumbled suddenly, his legs turning to jelly. He staggered into the tree leaning against it as, once again, his head started throbbing as if a hammer was pounding the side of his skull violently. Shaking slightly, grateful that all the students were too distracted by the bloody girl on the ground, Crane lifted his head trying to see through the crowd.

But it wasn't long before teachers, followed by several of the school nurses, hurried across the campus towards the crowd of students shoving the bystanders aside and blocking the wounded girl from view completely. One man with what looked like a squirrel on his face straightened up and announced loudly in a loud voice.

"OKAY EVERYONE! SHOW'S OVER! GET BACK TO CLASS!"

Gradually, the crowd diminished as students shuffled back to their lessons. Jonathan stood where he was watching as a school nurse kneeled over the form on the ground. Behind him, the ringing of an ambulance approached as the white car drove directly onto the grass. Turning away from the vehicle and back to the nurses surrounding the injured girl, Crane felt his stomach flip as he saw the brown-haired idiot staring right at him with an odd look on her face. That was his cue to leave.

Jonathan somehow made his way to his class stuck in thought. As he sat in his seat, the teacher's voice droning on, Crane felt himself thinking about something other than taking pages of notes throughout the lecture (which was quite unlike him).

Never before had he felt this way. He'd been tired before, never managing to get a wink, but ever since he woke this morning it felt as if he were in some odd dream. The previous day's events weren't unlike the rest of his past so why was that familiar voice whispering to him today of all days… And exactly why was it so familiar?

Jonathan shook his head finally coming to earth. He would have to save the contemplating for _after_ class. Picking up his pencil and fixing his eyes on the professor at the front of the class, Crane shoved all his thoughts to the back of his head saving them for later.


	3. Advice

Thank you for the wonderful reviews! I lost interest for a while and was about to abandon the story, but decided against it. Enjoy!

* * *

Jonathan walked down the hallway, books tucked neatly under his arm and eyes fixated on his brown shoes determined to avoid eye contact with anyone at all costs. Finally out of class, Crane allowed his mind to wrap around the more than unusual events of the day having forced himself to concentrate on everything the professor had droned on about all through class. After all, Jonathan Crane was not one to let his mind wander during any class no matter what the circumstances may be.

Still absorbed in thought, Jonathan was much too occupied to notice the brown-haired girl glaring daggers at him as he exited the old-fashioned building and passed right by her. Finally feeling the eyes boring into the back of his head, Crane stopped right at the bottom of the steps and turned to her determined to remain calm.

"What are you staring at!" she hissed at him.

"I was just about to ask the same thing, but seeing how you beat me to it…"

She stopped him before he could finish his sentence, her eyes narrowing even more. "Listen NERD BOY. You may think that since you're out of grade school that you're safe… might even make some new friends. But the thing is… the only friends you will EVER make… are the birds that will come to pick at you when we hang you up in the field where you belong scare… crow."

Despite the throbbing in his head that suddenly began again, Jonathan maintained his calm.

"Tell me… Raelle… is it just me or are you taking out all your frustration... all your guilt… on me. After all, your friend had her eye gauged out all because you wanted to amuse yourself at her expense. Jee… I sure wish I had a friend like you."

Raelle's eyes widened filling up with tears. Her hands clenched into fists as Jonathan's hard words smacked her across the face making her unable to even say anything back. Using her shock to his advantage, Jonathan turned on his heal and walked off, smiling to himself. For some reason, seeing the girl like that filled him with sheer joy that made him want to clap his hands in glee.

He made his way across the grass and entered the dormitory building. His footsteps echoed around the empty hall. As he approached the corner, he heard hushed voices murmuring amongst themselves.

"Crane… that's perfect."

Jonathan stopped immediately upon the mention of his name. He stood still, hardly daring to breathe so he wouldn't miss a word of the conversation was obviously mostly about him.

"As soon as the exams are done with… we track him down… which shouldn't be all that hard seeing how he stands about 2 feet above everyone else."

"Good… whose cars are we using… it's a long drive to that field last I checked. And we'll need a couple because I doubt there are many who are going to wanna miss this show… After all… scarecrow's a BIG hit."

Jonathan stood against the wall, eyes narrowed as he absorbed the hushed words. He immediately understood what the group of students around the corner were discussing and it wasn't good news.

Every year, after the final exams, the majority of the student body would get together and celebrate with numerous parties, getting as drunk as possible and running around the nearby town screaming at 4 in the morning. But around the ending of the two-day celebration, they'd be so incredibly drunk that one (or more) helpless and, not to mention, unfortunate students would end up becoming their amusement. And from what Crane heard, it turned out this year he was the lucky guy.

Shaking slightly, Jonathan took an involuntary step back as he took in everything the people ahead of him were discussing.

"Do it late when there are no cars on the roads…"

"What if he starts screaming or making a scene… the teachers, and god knows who else, will wake up."

"Oh we don't have to worry about that… if he's out cold the most of the time, the only things that'll hear him scream are us."

Suddenly finding himself shaking as he continued to listen in on the terrifying conversation, Jonathan's eyes widened as another voice spoke out, the same one he had been hearing all day and for much of his life. It spoke inside of him blocking out all other sounds suddenly becoming more alluring than ever before.

_Did you really expect it to change? Nothing will change if you continue to sit around doing absolutely nothing… that is why it is time to take control of your life… and the lives of others._

Jonathan felt his legs weakening as the whispered conversation grew more and more distant. Somehow, Crane knew that the voice inside him was no stranger. Why he had tried time and time again to keep it silent suddenly became a mystery for the voice could help him in a way no other person could.

_Harness your fear and the fear of others! Accomplish that and no one will ever dare to look down upon again!_

--

Light. There was too much of it, sweeping away the blissful darkness and invading his eyes bathing it in a red glow that refused to go away. Unable to be rid of it, Jonathan pried his eyes open facing a white roof. Closing his eyes once more, Crane felt his brain finally starting to function properly causing thoughts to cascade into his head.

A white ceiling… last time he checked, Jonathan's ceiling had been a deep brown and he could not recall changing the colour of it very recently.

While pondering about ceiling shades was crucial enough, Jonathan decided to switch his train of constant thoughts on a different track. As he sat up slowly and looked around, he found himself a very white room sitting upon what seemed to be a hospital bed. Now understanding where he was and why his ceiling wasn't the proper colour, Crane wracked his brain trying to figure out exactly why he was in the hospital.

Crane's eyes narrowed slightly as he found himself unable to recall anything from the last time he was conscious. Clouded images filled his memories, but he was unable to decipher them.

"Ah… Jonathan! Seems you're awake!"

Jonathan jumped as a friendly male voice appeared at the door. He spun his head towards the door and saw a man, obviously a doctor, standing at the entrance of his room smiling with a clipboard in his hand.

"You've been out a bit now," he said stepping into the room and unclipping a pen from his pocket. "So how are you feeling?"

A spark ignited in Jonathan's head. "Exactly how long have I been unconscious?" he questioned attempting to end his confusion.

"Hmm… about three days," the doctor replied studying his clipboard.

After a slight silence, Jonathan finally managed to get out two words. "Three… days?"

"Yes from what I see here," the man replied obviously not catching on to Jonathan's shock. "So how are you feeling?"

Jonathan twitched in annoyance. He just woke from being unconscious for three days without remembering a thing and this medical expert was asking how he was feeling? How understanding of him.

"… Confused."

"Hm… I see I see…" he murmured copying his words down onto his paper not taking the time to register Jonathan's reply. "No headache… no dizziness?"

"No," he replied resisting the urge to interrupt the doctor's questionnaire so he could get some answers himself.

"Good good…" he murmured once again writing down on his paper. "So… Jonathan. What do you last remember?"

Crane paused closing his eyes in thought. "I… was on my way to my dorm and I heard people… talking," he replied truthfully trying to remember more. "And… well that's the last thing I can recall."

"Well… I see now…" said the doctor fidgeting with his pen. "Well allow me to fill you in a bit. You were found unconscious in one of the dormitory hallways and I believe it was the people you heard talking that found you and quickly called the hospital."

Hearing this, Jonathan's head spun as it pieced together the clouded images his mind had refused him to let him remember. He remembered the plans he had overheard being discussed. He recalled the voice in his head sounding so captivating…

Jonathan turned and saw the doctor studying him with interest.

"You remember then?"

Jonathan stared at the bed sheets running a hand through his hair. Come end of year, he was going to become his classmates' entertainment and it seemed that he had no way out of it. Then he called back the words the voice had said to him. It had made so much sense… he didn't have to accept their brutality anymore…

"Jonathan?"

Crane looked up. "Yes doctor… I remember."


End file.
